well

9:34 AM

i almost blacked out this morning, on the bus. the bus was packed as usual, no windows open. all of a sudden, i couldnt see straight and i started to feel as if everything was closing in. i started to feel peaked and i knew i was probably turning green. luckily, the next stop was the high school so half of the bus got off and i could finally sit down. i still felt a bit suffocated and too weak to try and get up and open a window. this is why i miss muni - muni has actual operable windows. ac transit has a 5 inch wide 24 inch long "window" at the very top of the larger windows that only pop out a bit. thats it, and they are never open. anyway, i still feel a bit off. i actually haven't been feeling all that well and this weekend especially sunday, all i did was lay in bed and catch up on sleep. but maybe i was about to pass out because i havent been eating properly since i had been sleeping instead?

i haven't cut my hair. yet. half of me doesnt want to spend the money. i usually cut my own hair or have my good friend cut it. but the last time i spent money on a haircut/style was awhile ago in portland (so cheap! 45 including tip!). there is this new salon down the street from my work, that has massage shampoo chairs and all the yelpers love it. they also have a discount on tuesdays, so maybe, ill just buck up and do it. i did, however go shopping on saturday but by the end of it i was feeling sick and couldnt wait to get home. i spent $126 but on 5 shirts, 2 sweaters, 3 pairs of lounging pants, a skirt and 3 pairs of underwear. so i think i deserve to lavishly get a salon cut, no?

So, for the short hair cut. i love short hair. i have always had short hair for most of my life except these past 5 years. i actually did more with my hair when it was short and now that its long i absolutely do nothing with it. i always had a bob, either exaggerated and funky, to your expected vidal sassoon type (you know from that commercial long ago?). but then it always felt so typical, so asian. for awhile i would always choose something funky and fun but i guess im not in my 20's anymore so maybe something normal is called for? but i dont like normal. i dont know. i also can never make up my mind on anything. the last haircut i had in portland, i came up with on the spot. i wanted some layers, some severe in which if i put my hair up it did look like a bob, but if left down looked like a funky layered long cut. oh i dont know. anyone care to send me some pictures?

as for the pregnancy, i am now at the last leg of the 1st trimester, like the very last leg. im not really sure if i am still in my first trimester now that i think of it. the books i have of the week by week have different statements on the size of the baby. some say its at 1-2 inches while another says its at 3 inches this week. some say its the size of a lime while others say its the size of a plum. whatever the case maybe, its just bigger and badder than before. since the first 12 weeks are the most crucial and the most detrimental to the baby's life and development because that is when it is the most susceptible to outside forces such as eating raw eggs (salmonella) or one too many cold cuts (listeria). normally us adults dont even flinch over raw eggs, cold cuts or even mayonnaise because our immune systems can handle the small amount of it if any was to be there. but the little lima bean could not. it may seem a bit crazy to not eat soft boiled eggs (which i happen to love) or skip the eggs benedict for awhile, but wouldnt you if there was just a slight chance? even if doctors dont really know just how much or how little, id rather just have peace of mind and skip it for the crucial weeks. anyway, now that im in my 2nd trimester, things should be much better. i still need to get my mood up somehow cause i dont know, i still feel slightly off. maybe its the weather that keeps me gloomy and unmotivated.

my hair is extra greasy these days. ill wash my hair and the very next day it feels as though it had been a week since i last showered. my boobs have grown a full cup size now and last night i swear it was starting to expand again. my nipples are a bit glossier and though i thought i got away from the horrid stuff of pregnancy like the morning sickness, constipation has reared its ugly head. maybe since my 1st trimester was uneventful, my 2nd trimester won't be a happy breeze like its supposed to be. i already have pimples. actually, i have a big old zit waiting to bust out of my chin. my lips are extra dry and always chapped. oh and now you can really see that little dark line that runs vertically up and down my belly as to point to the direction and or horrific hole the baby will be coming out of in the near future. i have heard of this and have seen it on many a large bellies but i dont even have a belly yet! or even a mere baby bump! but its there. its soooooo strange. i not only have it from my belly button on down but i also have it from the bottom of my breast bone to my belly button and it is actually kind of crooked and doesnt quite align with the line from the belly button on down. apparently, according to old wives tales - Some people believe that the linea negra foretells the gender of their baby, thanks to centuries of old wives' tales, a linea negra that runs up, past the belly button, to the lower part of the sternum means that you will have a boy, and a linea negra that stops at the belly button means you're having a girl. oh-oh, some people will be disappointed, except cw of course. that is, if it even is or becomes the truth. i won't know for another 4 weeks or so.

work has been really stressful because the past few days it has only been me and another person and sometimes the big boss. i have paperwork on top of paperwork and deadlines i have already missed. its hard to keep track of so many things and by now ive probably forgot to order something for a job. but im trying to stay on top of it. and also remember to eat and drink plenty of water. speaking of, i should really get to ordering my lunch now.

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