well..

8:28 AM

i went to longs for a few items and stopped over at the top dog that they have tugged away there. i order my usual (polish dog) but as i soon as i hear the words come out of my mouth i want something else. especially when the guy taking the orders is also calling out hot link and frankfurter out to the other hungry customers. and i see them in all their glory. i want to take my order back but its too late. i then think i should have ordered 2 but dont. i eat my dog and realize, im still hungry and debate whether or not to order another hot dog. and if i do, do i want a hot link or a regular hot dog. hmm, ive never had their regular hot dog before. what if its not good? i should just stick to my usual. i sneak a peek at this girls hand in which she is holding a regular hot dog half eaten (and could not finish, maybe she'll give it to me if i ask and tell her im pregnant). it was juicy looking, shiny, plump and bigger than the bun. yeah, i think i will have another one. oh glorious day. i never ever order their regular hot dog, and now i think i like it better than the other dogs. all beef from da east, as it says on the menu. anyway, after devouring 2 dogs with all the fixins (onions, mustard, relish, and sauerkraut) plus a mini root beer, i was ready to be rolled out of there. after a few more steps i kind of started to feel gross and in the midst of exploding. which then reverted to - fuck, what was i thinking. eat till you are not hungry, not eat till you are passed fullness capacity. but i was hungry, or so i thought, after that first dog. anyway, i get home and am uncomfortably walking up our many steps and couldn't wait to just keel over when i ran into our next door neighbors, so i had to put my best face forward.

we chit chat, they invite us to dinner this friday and im like i dont know this and that - its cause at this point i just really want to run inside and explode and not be around anyone so i can moan and groan. i tell them that they are invited on easter sunday if we dont make it this friday and then her fiance (is it one e for the guy or two?) asks me, are you...um and then he motions his hands as if to make a pregnant belly for himself. and im like, oh yeah and i take a look at my belly and its surprisingly huge - but huge from the hot dogs i forced on myself and not the baby - and his fiancee chimes in with glee and congratulate me. they were both very kind.. i wanted to say that oh, this (rubbing my belly) is just the hot dogs, but i had to play it off as if i was farther along but saying im 4 months isnt exactly a lie. anyway, i told them we were having a home birth and they tell me that the previous previous tenants had a home birth as well. oh and that she, is a doula - my neighbor. finally, we say our good byes and i go inside and close the door behind me and take a look at my belly. jesus, its about to explode. really, its not the baby.

anyway, at this point i dont look pregnant pregnant, but i do get curious stares now and then. probably because i do look like i could be or that maybe i should just layoff that second (or third) hot dog.

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