the more realistic birth plan

5:55 PM

I wish to be able to do whatever the fuck i feel like doing at any given moment. which is whatever i am the most comfortable with, whether that involves cursing the person who is partially responsible for doing this to me in the first place and or cursing the same person who keeps telling me to just breathe.

I would like to have a video recording of my labor and/or the birth, but you better not be all up in my vajayjay and if you are my coach, you best put the damn thing on a tripod and fucking be giving the support i need. and dont even think about having the flash on when taking pictures. im trying to give birth here.

If there are any procedures, operations involved or decisions to be made, you best ask me first before proceeding and if i am incapacitated and can not act on my own, ask my husband AND my midwives who will act as my advocates, especially in the case of a hospital transfer.

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1 comments

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