Rants, Ramblings & Tangents, OH MY!

3:00 PM

Sorry,  I know that was really terrible of me to try and be clever like that with the title and be so corny. So anyhoo...Currently, I am working on designing an e-commerce website that sells handbags. I even got to pick out a handbag to take home AND was taken out to lunch (and ate al fresco!) where I enjoyed an adult conversation instead of my normal work day behind a desk in an office office! This is for my boss’ wife, so it was all during my regular working hours. Technically, they are getting me for cheap since normally, my design services are at a much higher rate (who am I kidding, whenever I have done it for friends – it has been either for dinner, trade or free. It’s hard to charge your friends because you want to help them succeed. How do you charge for that? Obviously if this was my bread and butter – I probably wouldn’t have issues about charging!).

It was really hard to choose just. one. bag. Looking around her inventory, I had picked out at least 5 that I liked, and then found some more laying about and ended up with a nice sort of satchel bag (but now I wish I got this one instead, cause black just goes with everything). I have yet to use it because, I feel like a fraud in it. It's just too stylish for my normal work clothes, which is jeans and a oil stained t-shirt!.

You know, before kids, I was pretty fashion forward. I dressed up most of the time, not necessarily for the office, but I was definitely more fashionable in my everyday wear (I did go to fashion design school and was addicted to magazines & blogs) and didn't hesitate to wear some red lipstick and high heels now and then, even at the office. I did regular stops at all the thrift stores and other secret shops with a girlfriend of mine (who sadly, I don't hang out with anymore - it's the kids, I tell ya! No, it's me - I just don't go out anymore nor have the disposable income I never had in the first place). I had a closet full of vintage dresses, tons of shoes, bags and belts. I loved belts! But now? I probably wear only 2 pairs of shoes - my salt water sandals and a pair of grey oxford style shoes. And bags, I have a few but they just stay in the closet. I don't know what it is, it isn't that difficult to dress a bit nicer or wear make up since it only takes me about an extra 10 mins, even though I use the excuse of wanting more sleep instead of making me look pretty..but really, 10 minutes!? Don't I owe it to myself to feel good about myself? 10 minutes of less sleep is not a huge sacrifice..(that's almost an hour a week though..I'm just sayin')

Anyway, back to my BK (before kids) closet- I had to downsize in order to move from my expanse of a 1 bedroom apartment into a shoebox of a place that my now husband but then boyfriend had at the time. I ended up having to either put stuff in storage and or just get rid of everything. Sadly, I got rid of A LOT of stuff. I was also starting to see how I was beginning to hoard onto things (broken things I said I would fix, clothing that I like but didn't fit, or scraps of fabric I said I could use to make something with but never did etc..).and I didn't need that, nor did I want that. I wanted to start fresh and new when we moved in together. When we moved to the east bay and found a place together (that I fell in love with), all the crooked 50+ steps leading to our front door deterred me from ever getting any more street treasures or wear high heels ever again. Then came kids, and another move, and another kid and..well, I just never got back around to rebuilding my wardrobe (yeah, and with what money?!) and really with rebuilding that motivation I once had to just take care of myself because I was so busy taking care of everyone else.

Sometimes what's hard for me is,  I think that people would think - if I do look really pulled together then did that mean I took less time for my kids? People don't think that do they? Yeah, they do. Apparently, because I just thought it (tsk tsk). But they can just change my babies dirty diapers with those dirty looks..(again these are just thoughts in my head..or what are they called again? oh, right, excuses!) or since everyone by now has gotten used to sloppy old me,  that when I do pull myself together, like oh just wear nice jewelry one day - everyone is like weirded out. But you know what? Who cares. I need to do it for me. I care. For me. Not them. FOR ME. Happy me = Happier mama = a happy family, right?

So, from now on I am going to make a better effort of taking care of myself. I am going to wake up earlier (hmm, I should probably get to bed earlier too) so that I can give myself time to, oh I don't know, eat breakfast (my usual meal is a cup of joe)! And actually find matching pairs of socks..although, I happened to have liked the mismatched look I sported today - thanks IG'ers..

Anyway, I hope you all take the time to take care of yourselves..maybe you are all better at it than I am. What do you all do, how do you do it? How do you give yourself a little time, a little break, a little treat? 

P.S. Tips appreciated.. :) (BTW..i tried this morning to get up a whole hour before everyone, it didn't quite work as I planned but it won't deter me..I just need to get to bed much earlier!)


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  1. i feel ya on the whole not taking care of yourself. it's just so exhausting and easier to put on whatever's clean rather than wearing the nicer stuff. i've never been a make-up wearer so i have no excuse to not dress up a bit more. i prefer jeans, pf flyers, a t-shirt and a sweater for work. thanks for the inspiration to do a bit better for myself. i deserve it. :)

  2. Yes, it IS exhausting sometimes..but you're right - you deserve it! we deserve it!

  3. I think it was probably a year or so after I had Kale that I realized I reaaaaaallly missed looking like a decent human being and at least a tiny bit fashionable. A couple things helped me get back into a fashion groove. First, I got rid of all the stuff that I should actually be embarrassed to wear. If it's not in the closet, it's not an option. Second, I always lay my clothes out the night before. When Kale's in bed, I have five minutes to look through my closet and think about what I want to wear, but I don't have that five minutes in the morning (because getting out of bed before him is not an option). Sometimes I end up waking up and not feeling like wearing what I laid out, but most of the time I don't have time to think about it. Third, I stopped feeling guilty for spending money on myself - mama's gotta look good too!

  4. Thanks Randalin, it took me that long to feel the same way too! And yes, so true - I have purged my closet over the last couple of months and slowly, here and there, have bought some items to add to it. I'm okay with spending some money but I do feel guilty at times. (but I can get over it)


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