Toddler Tuesdays - Undivided Attention

6:00 AM

Lately, Jax has been quite a challenge..or rather challenging my patience. He doesn't like to listen to my instructions, screams for my attention every 5 seconds, if I happen to be talking to someone else, like his dad. So I decided, I would try a new technique and introduce the thinking stool.

Me: Jax, let's sit down on this stool for a minute. This is the thinking stool, ok? I might bring you here so we can think on some things. Ok?

Jax: Oh-kay mommy..are  you gonna think too?

Me: Yes, we'll think together ok? When you sit here you'll need to listen and think. And the same will go for me if I sit there and I will listen and think too.

Jax: Oh-kay mommy. (Distracted by the baby gate) - OH, I need to close this! (Motions to the gate and locks it.)  

Me: Are you listening Jax? Can you start listening now?

Jax: Oh-kay mommy..OH I gotta poo...(farts and farts and laughs hysterically - while I try to keep my serious face - SO HARD!)

Me: (Sigh) ok..go!,  you need to go, you should go.

Jax: Oh what's this (picks up a bath toy) oh and this, look mama (picks up the bath toy with a rubber band), look! much for the thinking stool..

Part of the reason he can become a challenge is, I'm not giving him the attention he seeks and therefore needs. He of course would like my undivided attention but with his little sister around, this is hard to come by. I notice that he "acts out" a little more, can become more sensitive and will resort to screaming if I am in a conversation with someone, like at pick up or his dad at dinner.

I know I need to carve out more one on one time with him like we used to a few months ago. We used to go to the library together, just the two of us. Then to the park or even home depot (loves the forklifts and all the goings on there. I love the smell).

I wish I could actually spend my Tuesdays with my toddler but, since that isn't in the cards for us, I need to set out a date to spend more time with him and not just little snippets here and there. I also need to carve out a time and check in on my other relationship - the one with my husband. I was reading this blog post which had a great idea {duh, why didn't I think of this before!}. Feed the kiddos early and then have dinner with just the two of us, so that we can actually have a complete conversation with no interruptions and that last longer than a minute. {We have yet to implement this}

If you have two (or more) kiddos, how do you deal with the need of constant attention by each of your kids? What has helped you the most - in either technique, or discipline, or in acceptance (sometimes, all it takes is acceptance)?

(BTW -If you have 3 kids, or are thinking of having 3 kids, you must read this)

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  1. Thanks for the shout out mama! Dinner time has helped my hubby and I connect and talk about our day. We are playing with the idea of expanding our family and we are both a ill scared on how it will change our dynamic. I think the fact that you are trying to carve out time to fuel your relationship is great! You will get there!!

  2. I don't have two kids, but I still find it challenging to give Kale as much one on one attention as I'd like. I used to take Friday's off work and we would have "date days," which were amazing, but not possible anymore. I still try to sneak in special trips with him (I find if we're at home, I'm too distracted), just the two of us.


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