Friday Perspective - Family

3:02 PM

Pompeyo Narciso Licas, Jr. July 20,1929 - November 22, 2012
It is with a heavy heart that I share the sad news that my grandfather passed away yesterday. I doubt Thanksgiving will ever be the same.

But it's all about perspective. I am grateful for the 83 years my grandfather had on this earth. The years spent with my grandfather will always be cherished and remembered. His laughter, his reprimands, his wisdom. I am very thankful.

I told Charlie, that every Thanksgiving could be marred with the grief of this time. He replied, not unless you see it as a way to remember how much he has lived. During the time I was at the hospital and throughout the day yesterday, I kept getting text and picture messages sharing the comfort of family and friends on this holiday with photos of happy couples, family dinners and baby's 1st thanksgiving cuteness. It was very bittersweet. Such is life. Such is death. As one of my friends stated: it's good to focus on life during death as they are at opposite ends of the journey but yet similar.

Watching my dad and his siblings gather around and support each other, putting their past differences aside to come together to be with their dad and stand by their mom was extraordinary. To be part of this family and be let in to the "inner circle" sort of speak, rather than kept at the "children's table" was comforting and had me realize how much of an adult I am (supposed to be) now. It also had me realize that despite the ages of my dad, aunts and uncles, that they are children too. That, yes this was my grandfather, but that this was their father. I know, of course right? but those words were put into reality when things unfolded as they did.


My grandmother is doing ok, given the circumstances. My dad is holding on to a regret that he cannot let go of. And I'm seeing my aunt and uncles in a completely different light.


I don't know if I mentioned it before (maybe it was in a draft of a post but never published?) but when my grandpa got sick, I was fearful that I would make the same mistake I did with my other grandpa. When I had a choice to visit him one last time and being in denial and 14 years old, I said that I could just see him again tomorrow, but that tomorrow never came. So, I am grateful that I was able to make it to LA a day earlier than usual. To be by his side one last time, when he was awake and somewhat coherent.

I love you papa. You will be missed but you truly are in a better place.

Thank you to everyone who offered their support and condolences.

If there is any advice to give, it is this: hold your loved ones close, and if there has been some time dividing you, reach out and say hello, and try to let bygones be bygones, because you just never know.

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