Bittersweet

6:00 AM


"you've seen sad times, your eyes have told me so blue and bad times, you think that I don't know
but there'll be glad times, just you wait and see and there'll be a sun rise, if you lean on me"
                                                                                                                      - beth orton

Here it is again, a day to celebrate being a mom, and of course one's own mom. This time is always so very bittersweet for me. Other days unlike today too. Like the day Jax asked me who my mom was and if I even had a mom at all, because he has never met her but has met Charlie's mom. I try and introduce the photos I have of her and talk about her and show him the things that he knows and has of her. Like all the elephant toys, the elephant bank, and some other knick knacks. Still, it's not quite tangible to a three and half year old.

As a photographer now, trying to convince people that there is value in a print and not just the digital images.  After all you can't frame that dvd of your wedding or put up that nice usb full of your daughter's birth. I love photography in that, when images are printed and in albums or even in a shoebox - you are embraced with history, with memories and other people's memories and perspective. I am so grateful that my mom had photos and albums. I love looking at them over and over and look forward to the day when I can share them with my kiddos. To show them my history, and my mom's history.

Anyway, sorry for the somber post. I started this post thinking I would say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! and be all chipper about it. I swear, that was my intention. but I guess that didn't happen. sorry. anyway, everyday really is mother's day, isn't it?  Hugs to you all. I hope that you mamas are enjoying the one day where you should be able to not have ALL your mama duties on your shoulders (not that it is always a burden). I can't wait for home made cards, mediocre breakfasts in bed and last minute gifts from my kids. Now, if only my brain could take the picture all by itself when those moments happen.

Here are some photos I found..I hope to upload more. By the way, I am embarking on a personal photo project regarding suicide loss and mental health. If you or anyone you know has been touched by suicide and would like be part of my project by being photographed and telling their story - please get in touch!

I think I was around 7 here. No front teeth and I think it was on the bucaneer?
This was actually on my 5th birthday, when my thunder was stolen by my cute baby brother's baptism. I love the look my baby bro is giving though.
Again, my 5th birthday - that's me with my brother's present - not mine.
Do not laugh at my hair. My parents believed kitchen scissors were the same thing that the pros use.. at supercuts.

Happy Mother's Day beautiful mamas!

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