That's not cool, mom..

3:28 PM


Bay Area Portrait Photographer

boy-with-a-missing-tooth-bay-area-portrait-photographer

Oh these two. Lately, and I am almost embarrassed to admit this - but I now understand the term - they will be the death of me! But I love them, I do.

I know I haven't been great at keeping up with this corner of the interwebs, but now that I am self employed and trying to really succeed as a small business owner AND being home with the kids - it's freaking insanity to be honest to get anything done except trying not to lose your cool in front of your kids because you said to yourself - you wouldn't do as your parents did (don't get me wrong, I love my parents and I understand them so much more than I ever did before)

I mentioned the other day when I made the trek to a friend's house in Pacifica (and then missed nap time and spent 2 hours in traffic. Thankfully, I did not lose my cool.) about how I have no idea how those pinterest moms do it. How they keep their house organized, keep themselves looking great, keep their kids happy and manage to keep their marriage intact as well as have time for oneself - and not to mention keep their shit together. OR is it, just like with my photography website and here..we don't always show our trials and errors and only show the world the good & cute stuff - it builds hope I would imagine but sometimes I feel it also can send a bit of a guilt trip..unintentional though, of course. I know I do it as well because it IS way better (and prettier) to focus on the positives..but I think once in awhile it would be great if we were honest with each other. If we can say to one another as a parent, that we too struggle. Sometimes it's just all about keeping everyone alive and not at each others throat (oh and being fed and a clean diaper...and and..)

But now I totally understand why my parents would often lose their cool. Still not an excuse, but I know they tried their best and were also probably doing a step better than what they had received as kids themselves - or out of habit do as we are taught and shown...I recently heard this saying - more things are caught then taught...meaning, you know - like that drug commercial? - I learned it from watching you...

So as I attempt to navigate this new work life of mine, these new and differing responsibilities..I just have to remind myself..to breath..walk away if necessary..use a soft and slow voice. Most of the time, I know why I can't keep my cool. And most of the time I know why the kids are being uppity...I just need to be more mindful, more present...I want to be better at using my words, softly and without anger, like I tell them. I want to show in my actions what I intend and mean..like I tell them...often in teaching my kids how to navigate their lives - they are in turn my compass.

ok, times up..I hear pitter patter of feet coming my way..

How about you? How do you handle not losing your cool OR how do you explain it to your kids when you do lose it?


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1 comments

  1. I lose my cool all the damn time. I hate it - but deep breaths and mantras and counting to ten really do nothing for me once I start to seethe. Kale, of course, has adopted my zero-patience ways, so it's often not just me losing it, but him too. Imagine how awesome that is. We do the whole extra snuggles and explaining why we got mad thing - usually before bedtime the day it happened. I don't know if it makes it any better, but that's all I've got. I try and convince myself that it's healthy to show emotions - regardless of whether they're good or bad. Banging my head on the wall might not be the best way to show frustration, but it's got to be better than slapping on a fake smile and pretending my blood isn't boiling.

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